Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
