I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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