Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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