i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
