i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
