hotel room ftw
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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