Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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