As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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