hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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