He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
