elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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