If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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