you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
