I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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