The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
