Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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