Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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