So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize