Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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