We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
