Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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