You don't have asthma, your pregnant
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
