he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
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It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
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I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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