Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize