Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The best revenge is premature balding
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I love having hate sex.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
