return my video game
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He kissed a someone with a penis
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
