Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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