Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
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She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
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My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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