Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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