i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Randomize
