I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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