dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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