You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
two words...techno handjob
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
