so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize