My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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