my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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