he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
