dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
North Korea, Best Korea!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
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we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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