i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
