toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
