Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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