We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
