Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize