I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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