did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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