I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize