I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Come see our sink grown plant.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize