I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
