I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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