i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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