she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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