you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
