I wanna bring you to show and tell
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
