My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
