I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
