DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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