I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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