Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
