Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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