Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
