last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
