? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
