it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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