He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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