Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
