yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
