But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
